{"id":144,"date":"2021-05-06T18:42:23","date_gmt":"2021-05-06T18:42:23","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/refusingtobeenemies.org\/?page_id=144"},"modified":"2021-07-08T18:33:29","modified_gmt":"2021-07-08T18:33:29","slug":"principles-of-dialogue-that-guide-zeitouna","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/refusingtobeenemies.org\/wordpress\/principles-of-dialogue-that-guide-zeitouna\/","title":{"rendered":"Principles of Dialogue That Guide Zeitouna"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

1.   Assume good intentions in every speaker<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

2.\u00a0 Be curious. People who are truly curious ask questions and then listen intently without<\/strong> judgement about what is offered.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The purpose of this guideline is to focus on understanding rather than\u00a0being \u201cright\u201d. By doing this we create an environment where people feel their experiences are valued and we add valuable pieces to the bigger picture of which we are all a part. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

There is almost nothing as disarming as someone who is truly curious to understand what our reality is all about.\u00a0 This kind of curiosity is not<\/em> being \u201cnosy\u201d or \u201cintrusive\u201d, but comes from a genuine and sincere\u00a0interest in understanding the other person.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

3.\u00a0 We will listen even when someone is saying something challenging that we may not want to hear.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The purpose of this guideline is to demonstrate that we are interested in learning from others and acknowledging the value of their truth even though it may be challenging because it is different from ours. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

By being willing to \u201chang in there\u201d we demonstrate our willingness to respect different experiences and perhaps learn\u00a0from them.\u00a0 If something evokes a strong response in you, notice this, and when it is your turn to speak, you may choose to say something about your experience of hearing what the person shared. By speaking from \u201cI\u201d, you can acknowledge your reality while respecting the person who spoke. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

4.<\/strong> Be willing to examine your own thinking<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The purpose of this guideline is to build awareness of how the assumptions that we hold influence and color the way we experience people and situations, sometimes in ways that limit us and sometimes in ways that expand our horizons. A willingness to test our own assumptions is a mark of a person who is open to learning. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all have assumptions about how the world works, certain groups, why other people do or say things, etc. During a Dialogue it is useful to be willing to become more aware of your assumptions and even hold them up for examination, asking \u201cWhat if I thought differently about this? How would my relationships and life change for the better?\u201d <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Stereotypes are examples of assumptions about people and groups that often limit the way we interact with others. Because a stereotype robs a person of their individuality and uniqueness, it is a barrier to building relationships. As we become willing to be curious, while listening and learning more about how people are actually thinking and feeling, we open the door to expanding our perceptions and building connections where there were none.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

 5.  We will allow each other mistakes if we do not always use the correct and\/or accurate<\/strong> language<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The purpose of this guideline is to give people permission to speak without using the perfect words so that they will not feel inhibited by using language that is inaccurate or may be jarring to another person. This guideline is not permission to intentionally use disrespectful language. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

We all make mistakes in the words we use either because we don’t know what is appropriate or we are trying to communicate something important and unintentionally use a word that is inaccurate and\/or disturbing to someone else. This is a risk we all take when we choose to share\u00a0our thoughts and feelings in the moment. If we feel we can only communicate if we say it \u201cright\u201d, we may not risk saying anything at all. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

6.\u00a0 We will strive to withhold judgement of the views or experiences of others, by maintaining awareness of our words, tone of<\/strong> voice and body language.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

The purpose of this guideline is to create an environment where people are not afraid to express what they are thinking and feeling for fear of being jumped on or judged; to enable a conversation where everyone can understand and be understood.<\/em> <\/p>\n\n\n\n

Although we all continually judge what others say, it is important that for the period of this conversation such judgments be set aside, in the interests of listening to and learning about the experience of the other person.\u00a0 If we do not set aside our judgments we will not be able to listen with an open heart to what is said. There will be a time to evaluate later.\u00a0Our focus is on experiencing different viewpoints. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

This does not mean <\/em>that you need to set aside the strength of your passions.\u00a0 In fact, it is because we want to create an environment where everyone can speak about what is most important, that we temporarily suspend our criticisms so that everyone, including ourselves, can be heard.\u00a0 We seek to understand and be understood.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

7.  Expect and accept non-closure<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Since the purpose of Dialogue is to deepen understanding rather than to problem solve, it is an on-going (one hopes life-long) pursuit with no discrete beginning or end.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

1.   Assume good intentions in every speaker 2.\u00a0 Be curious. People who are truly curious ask questions and then listen intently without judgement about what is offered. The purpose of this guideline is to focus on understanding rather than\u00a0being \u201cright\u201d. By doing this we create an environment where people feel their experiences are valued and… Read More »Principles of Dialogue That Guide Zeitouna<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":0,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"neve_meta_sidebar":"full-width","neve_meta_container":"","neve_meta_enable_content_width":"on","neve_meta_content_width":100,"neve_meta_title_alignment":"","neve_meta_author_avatar":"","neve_post_elements_order":"","neve_meta_disable_header":"","neve_meta_disable_footer":"","neve_meta_disable_title":"","_themeisle_gutenberg_block_has_review":false,"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-144","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"yoast_head":"\nPrinciples of Dialogue That Guide Zeitouna - Refusing to be Enemies<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/refusingtobeenemies.org\/wordpress\/principles-of-dialogue-that-guide-zeitouna\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Principles of Dialogue That Guide Zeitouna - Refusing to be Enemies\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"1.   Assume good intentions in every speaker 2.\u00a0 Be curious. 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